Inhibit the Inhibition

We have many "Erroneous Zones" in our personality some are known and many are unknown. What's is unknown can never be acted upon. One of them is the 'Inhibition' to express our feelings. Unexpressed feelings build pressure in us waiting to explode one day.

What is the genesis of this inhibition? When we were a small child our parents controlled us, later our teachers, spouse, boss and so on. When we try to express something we encountered 'put downs' from parents to start with. A frequent 'put downs' created a loss of 'Self-esteem' which ultimately resulted in our 'Inhibitive behaviour'.

When we don't know the root cause we can't correct it. The first step is to know we have this problem of expression. I remember the story of the elephant tied to a plant never attempts to move as it is conditioned that way from childhood.

The second step is to revise our self-esteem by auto suggestion that we are a worthy human being. If you don't respect yourself, no one will! You are a wonderful creation with your own virtues.

The third step is 'Do the thing that you are afraid of' ie speak your heart to your spouse at least once a day. In your office, start expressing your views tactfully as people are waiting to see you the old way. If there are 'put downs' handle them firmly. Then you will find a new Freedom dawning on you.

May Lord Bless you with lots of expressions.

With whole of heart

NC

Articulate for attention

One of my colleague during Lucas TVS days used to jokingly say "You have to speak fast in English if you want others to recognise you". Later I was trying to ponder over his comment in details during my research for my book "Pragmatic Leadership" I wrote for McGraw Hill (India).

In my class I used to remember only the students who spoke maximum and virtually not remembering those never spoke a word. Ironically those who were silent might have grasped maximum than those who were vocal. Alas, you have to be vocal for getting noticed.

In my Middle Ages I was a shy young man hardly had the courage to speak in any group; may be because I studied in vernacular medium I was not confident of speaking in English. Later I noticed one of the factor for moving ahead in career is 'To articulate without hesitation expressing ones views'.

Even I was confident to take responsibility my seniors did not think so because I was not expressive. When I started my consulting company I learned, the only weapon I have is 'Ability to articulate my thoughts & wisdom' adding value for which my client is willing to pay.

It took pretty long time to muster courage to articulate my views in front of people of high stature. Please remember if you want the World to notice you, you have to learn how to articulate without any inhibitions.

"Make your way by speaking confidently"

With whole of my heart
NC

Getting along moves you along

In my middle ages I was an angry young man either always 'upset' or preparing to get upset. These are the two states one can find me! I used to discover reasons to brood and this world has no short supplies for reasons for worrying & obsession!!

I hardly found people around me or willing to work with me; where is the question of accepting me as a leader? In spite of my brilliant academic & professional performance records I was not getting promotions.

I came to a conclusion that the whole universe is conspiring to trouble me and create my situation. This was the easiest way to avoid blaming myself. As I said earlier many times one 'who knows not that he knows not is a fool' and I was one among them till my mentor moved me to the state "One who knows that he knows not" in which state I accepted my folly and stopped defending.

My mentor Mr. Anandakumaran Nair (my boss in Lucas TVS) opened my eyes and said "You must change your behaviour by which many people flocking around is the proof. If you wish to do that, you have to grab the opportunity to help them and be kind" I accepted his wisdom and took a U turn surprising people with my kind & helping behaviour which made all the difference in life. A new degree of freedom dawned on me and I was more happy than the people around me!

I learned in a hard way the lesson "I have born to live in harmony with all fellow human beings and my true nature is being happy and make everyone around me happy. One cannot achieve anything if we don't get along with others as all that makes our life from tooth brush to air plane were made by others. Shahjahan could not have built Taj Mahal but for the support of thousands of craftsmen who made his dream a reality. We remember his love towards Mumtaj due those who killed themselves for making this master piece.

Remember: "If you think you can move the mountain yourself, you have mistaken - soon you will find you are a loner in this planet ignored even by your own loved ones. Learn to 'Get along to move along the ladder both in corporate and personal life"

Good day

With whole of my heart
NC

If you can't get what you want, love what you got

After living life for 65 years I have learned one lesson clearly and that is: "Life is designed to give you most often what you don't want!". This is the 'Moment of truth" As Shivkera once said "When you got lemon either you can cry or make lemonade

When I was in school final like any other boy I dreamt to become a Graduate engineer as in those day it is a stigma to become a Diploma engineer. Many Companies refused to promote Diploma engineers beyond certain positions. Knowing this I was stubborn to go for only graduation in engineering.

The moment of truth was my parents had no resources to send me to engineering college. Finally I was virtually dragged into the polytechnic which I hated the most. This is a state where I have to make up my mind to take it or leave it. I realised 'Leaving it is more risky than moving forward! Loving something which you did not want is the most difficult task at that tender age of 17!! Eventually I did it completing my Diploma with a state rank.

This attitude gave me the power to become a self made man till I finished my Degree with first rank in the university and a Masters in IIT later. I believe every problem is a seed of equivalent benefits"

With this episode I learned few lessons as below:

1. There is no one sitting there in heaven for granting you all that I want.

2. What falls in my way has to be taken as "Prasad of Lord" and pursued with vigour. God sends obstacle to make you a better human being. A compressed coal becomes a diamond.

3. When one door is closed there is many opens. Don't keep on complaining about life. If I have the right attitude i will make a difference in this planet.

4. Attitude makes or Mars my life. Hence always be positive at any unfavourable situation.

With whole of heart

NC

Hard Work Syndrome

From childhood we have been hearing this phrase "Hard work"! In my opinion there is nothing called hard work! In fact there is nothing called 'Work' and 'Play' as all are 'Play' if you have the right attitude. When you play tennis which involves more tiresome work but you feel fresh after play. But you are tired even before reaching office! Why? Then what is the true meaning of hard work?

Does this mean 'Physically hard?" Or "Mentally hard?". People tell me 'Why are you working so hard at this age?'. I feel disgusted to hear this as I don't feel I am working 'hard' because "I only working for my pleasure".

The work is 'hard' only when we hate to do it; when you are passionate about it then work is a pleasure. The work is hard or soft depends on our attitude towards work.

Tell me the mother looking after the infant throughout the day is 'Hard work?' You will say no! Why? Because she enjoys doing it!

You roam around in vacation with family which involves lots is physical exertion - Do you call it 'Hard work'? No, because of your attitude.

I continued my education and work till 38 years of my age working 20 hours a day and never felt 'I am working hard'. Now I travel 20 days a month all over the Globe to deliver lectures & consulting. I feel good and never me or my family feel I am working hard. This is because I do enjoy everything be it playing my keyboard or travelling or playing with my grandchildren or delivering value to my clients.

Please remove the word 'Hard work' from your dictionary and enjoy all moments of your life. This will improve your quality of life as well as health. Never ever program your child saying 'You must work hard to come up in life' instead tell them 'You must enjoy what you do to come up in life'

With whole of my heart
NC

Wonder the Wonderment

When we were a small kid everything excited us and made us happy; be it colour, butterfly, animals, plants and so on. We were giggling and laughing all the time keeping ourselves happy.

Psychologists say when you are depressed look at the child and the fish as they are always relaxed. cience declares looking at fishes in the pond or fish tank reduces our BP

🐡🐬🐠

Some where along the way we have become very serious as we stopped this 'Wonderment'. Take a moment to look at your body which works like a clock without your involvement - it keeps up your blood circulation, it digests your food and so on. Is it not a wonder? Even breathing is a wonder; excretion is a wonder. Only when we see someone in dialysis we 'wonder' the functioning of our kidney !! Are we thankful to Lord when we are passing urine saying 'My Lord I am thankful to you for making my excretion system functioning today'? We don't because we have taken everything granted and lost our ability to 'Wonder' on everything while it is truly a wonder.

The rose flower blossoming is a wonder, the sun rising everyday is a wonder - it is all depending upon with what outlook we are looking at. When we have lost the ability to wonder, we have lost 'novelty' in life and we are stepping into depression 😖

Remain as a child as far as novelty is concerned and look at the Rose flower now as though you are seeing it first time. Look at the flower petals opening up on its own with that Divine force inside. Can you forcibly make the flower to blossom? You can't if you do the flower will die!!

Can you see the dried mango seed kept on the table looks as though it has no life in it; but when you buried beneath earth, it germinates as mango seed link !! It does not become an apple tree! Don't you see the intelligence dormant in that seed by which it understands the ambience? Likewise can you not see the intelligence in every creations? Has it not created a wonderment in you?

If nothing makes you to wonder in this universe you are a gone case just stepping into deep depression soon. Look at the stars, Galaxies, black holes and vast endless universe and see the creator hiding in each one of them in the form of self sustaining intelligence. Close your eyes and feel His presence in you too!!

Wonder! Wonder ! Wonder! And that is all in Life.

With whole of my heart

NC

What to say when you talk to yourself?

In human species we find a wide variation in personality which plays a vital role in our progress in career. Vast majority of us are unconscious about it as it falls in the "Knows not knows not domain". Anything falling in this domain may not be known to us. What we are not aware of can never be acted upon. Although there are several theories about the causes for variation in personality, I am in favor of 'Psychological conditioning'. This means recording a message in the subconscious by repeated saying by others or ourselves.

Subconscious is the most powerful part of us which regulates our behavior upon which we have no control. It is like the operating system (OS) of a computer embedded in the chips by the programmer. Like the computer functions as per this OS we act as per the subconscious.

Ever since we have born we are constantly in conversation within us. Only when you learn meditation and practice for a considerable period of time, you will not be able to recognize the presence of mind as a separate entity as an instrument for your usage. For common man who is unaware of this aspect, the mind decides his state of being. If the mind is happy, he is happy; if it tense, he is tense!

One of the conditioning is happening through what we talk to ourself. 24x7 all of us are unconsciously talking to ourselves invariably negatively such as "I am not good at this & that". One of the famous book written by Shad Helmstetter titled as "What to say when you talk to yourself" deals with the impact of self-talk and suggestions for positive assertions. Please read this book and initiate "auto suggestions" to make a big shift in your personality.

With whole of my heart

NC

Man's Search for Meaning

Frankle was a Jews psychologist imprisoned by Nazis along with his entire family during World war-2. He has narrated his entire life experiences in his book "Man's search for meaning". His life in the camp is the pinnacle of sufferings which no other human beings would have gone through in their life on earth. All his love ones were killed in the gas chamber in front of his eyes and he was tortured by the soldiers beyond any one's imagination.

He had two choices - one to kill himself by abusing the soldier as no one can kill themselves on their own or stay calm and find a "Purpose" in this hostile environment. Obviously he chose the later.

He extended an affectionate service as a psychologist comforting all his fellow human beings and remained sane till the end of the Hitlers regime while people became mad. After release form the camp Victor Frankle founded a new therapy for depression named as "Logo Therapy". Logo means "Purpose". Those who are bored or depressed are the ones who have not yet found purpose in their life.

One of the greatest sayings of Victor Frankle is:

"They can take away everything from me except my freedom to choose the response to any external stimuli & situation". His definition of "Freedom" revolutionized the later generations who truly understood what he is saying. Our peace & Happiness is not the function of any external objects and events, but by the choices we make in any situations. Don't get succumbed by the events and gain victory over them by making right choices.

With whole of my heart
NC

Essence of Silence

Power of silence is not known as it is very difficult to define silence- for some one not speaking is silence but for a yogi shutting the mind is silence. We think 'not speaking is silence' without recognising the fact we 'talk to ourselves' all the time. In fact when we are not talking to some one the mind is engaged in that conversation only. But when we talk to ourself our mind is very active.

Science discovered the metabolic rate of our body is a function of number of thoughts processed by mind. When we meditate our breath & heart rate comes down dramatically. When we are anxious the breathing & heart races up. Hence merely not speaking is not Silence.

A true silence is achieved only through Meditation where the meditator reaches a state where the mind is inactive. This blissful state is the true silence. Blissful state is one where we are very peaceful for no reasons. All great masters, leaders and inventors are believed to reach this state at least 20 minutes a day. I recommend you to learn and do meditation early to center your thoughts and remain peaceful throughout the day.

Whole of my heart. 

NC

Beware of Credit Syndrome

As human we are caught up with the syndrome "Will I get the credit for what I do?" If we are not sure we don't want to undertake that initiative.

If you observe the universe everything is happening without worrying about credit except human. Rising of sun, milk of a cow, love of a dog and any other are free from 'Credit syndrome'. We unfortunately caught up with this mess of credit.

The 'Dubbawala' case in point of distribution of unused food is a gesture free from credit syndrome. If you analyse in detail the great people are the ones who went beyond credit mess. Be it Jesus Christ or Emerson or those risen to highest position in corporate ladder are those are free from Credit syndrome.

If we are affected by this syndrome we are bound to be doomed or with stunted growth. This is due to the simple fact for vast majority cases our mind will tell us "If you do, someone else will take the credit and hence don't do it".

In reality there is nothing called credit exist and when you are preoccupied with it you will not get. On the other hand if you are free form it the credit will chase you. This is evident from the World worshiping people who relinquished the 'Fruit of action'

With whole of my heart

NC

Vocabulary of Veda - God Principle

The perception of 'God' is so widely different for each one of us; for an atheist it is a subject to rebel, for a theist it may be a sanctioning authority from heaven fulfilling all their needs. The perception of God is based on how one is conditioned.

Let's look at the genesis of 'God' in our life. God was introduced to me when I was very young by showing an idol or image and my parents said "if you do mischief God will poke your eyes". This way the so called 'God fearing journey started'!!

Somehow our seniors ensured we become 'God fearing people' and not 'God loving people'! The next item of our conditioning is 'Sin & virtue'- we were taught by seniors 'when you harm someone you earn sin and do good you earn browny point from God!! This gave the God a book keeping responsibility and he has to appoint "Chitragupta' to do this chore!!

When we needed something like passing the exam we were asked to sign a contract with God to sanction in exchange of our hair or 100 coconut !! In summary it looks like we have an 'Unclear' understanding of God.

I was curious to know what our Masters or enlightened people are describing the 'God principle'. Whatever I could access from our Vedic literatures I was surprised to note all our understanding about God learned from all sources are wrong. To give a glimpse:

# No where in the Upanishad God is described with a image or form. He is formless.

# All that is there in the Universe are manifestation of God in material & energy form including all human beings.

# We are divine in human form and deluded due to Maya (will discuss later)

# Reincarnation is the result of our incomplete desire (Vasana)

# All human can realise God through transcending mind and attain Nirvana through meditation.

Will discuss more later.

With whole of my heart
NC