A Thought on 'Reality'

In philosophy and science both it is said that "Space & time exists only in our inner experience and not in reality". Whatever we cognize, it is the projection in our brain - the chemical and atomic reaction in our cells. This is the only way we can visualize anything in the World. What we cognize we conclude it is real.

When we are dreaming about a snake chasing, the feelings and bodily reactions are the same as real although nothing is real. But for the dreamer it is real in that moment till he wakes to consciousness.

For a colour blinded people, Green colour does not exist - does that mean Green colour is not there in the spectrum?

In essence 'Reality' is subtle and beyond human comprehension. We are like cockroaches who are not designed to understand all secrets of this creation and the creator. Thinking 'I know it all' is a stupid way of living and looking inward to search for the 'Reality' is the only way for Salvation.

With whole of my heart

NC

Wish to make a Difference in Life?

Then use 'INTELLECT' and not the 'MIND'

Over 5000 years ago a greatest wisdom was propounded by Lord Krishna which is very much valid at all times for those who wish to pursue material or spiritual success. In the 701 verse treatise GITA, in the first chapter Lord Krishna explains the difference between an 'Animal' & 'Human being' - in the later model, the life energy manifests in an expanded form with an additional 'equipment' called "INTELLECT" (I) which has the ability to 'Discriminate' to make choices before we 'act'. This faculty is not bestowed on the animals who can never 'Make choices'. For example a Tiger cannot make a choice to become a vegetarian. One of the greatest power Divine has blessed human beings with is the "Power of making choices" which is the function of the INTELLECT (I).

The MIND (M) is a seat of "Emotions' which is said to be reactive and invariably directs us in a wrong direction and has no ability to discriminate. For example a diabetic sees an ice cream wishes to grab it as that is his first reaction of his MIND (M) which tries to fulfill its gratification. Here, the stimuli is the ice cream and the response to grab is the MIND!! When the INTELLECT is used by the diabetic, it will tell him the the rationale of 'short term pleasure and long term suffering' but there is no guarantee that the person concerned will use the INTELLECT.

I heard Swami Chinmayananda saying "MIND is like the clerk in a Government office and INTELLECT is the officer who has the big picture and will take right decisions; MIND taking decision is like the clerk disposing the file without referring to the officer".

When this happens in our life we always end up in regretting about our choices but it will be invariably late. Those who smoke has a readymade justification and always believe that they will not be affected by it. But when they are diagnosed with 'Lung cancer', they immediately drop the cigarette as their 'Life' is more dear to them than the smoke. Many habitual alcoholic disconnect their INTELLECT which warns them every time he steps into the bar; but he learns to disconnect it for ever!

It is said that 99% of the human beings live their life only with the application of their MIND disconnecting the INTELLECT to discriminate, although they have the choice to use the INTELLECT at all the occasions to make a right choices. It is akin to buying a sophisticated cell phone with innumerable functionality and using it only for making calls.

Please remember,

"Living your life with the mere application of MIND disconnecting your INTELLECT is driving a Mercedes without a steering". If you do, you have no rights to complain anyone for your conditions in your life.

Jai Gurudev

NC

Parenting - Assertiveness

In behavioral science 'Assertiveness' means standing up for rights' which is a very approximate meaning. It's true meaning is 'Expressing our need / opinion without hesitation or fear. The opposite of 'Assertiveness' is 'Inhibitiveness' which means 'Bottling up feelings without expression' or fear of asserting for rights.

In India vast majority of us are 'Inhibitive' unlike in the West where most of them are 'Assertive' who stands up for rights firmly expressing their views. Assertiveness is the key ingredient for success in life because Inhibitive person is ignored and taken for granted.

Why in India most of us are 'Inhibitive'? Again it is the result of parenting. In India we have a false paradigms of expecting younger ones not to make eye contact with elders or not to sit in front of them or cross legs which is reprimanded as disrespect. Constantly we snub the child in the name of controlling them which is referred to as "Put Downs" in psychology. Through 'Put downs" we destroy the confidence for expression and end up as 'Inhibitive' adults who display poor competency in Leadership.

Hence as parents, treat your child as an adult and encourage them to express freely and never ever "Put down" or ridicule them under any circumstances.

Whole of my Heart

NC

Parenting - Confrontation

When I grew up in a family of 11 I saw my dad as a 'Tyrant' like Duryodhan and my mother a pious & saintly Seetha imprisoned for life. Whenever my father is not at home we will flock around our mother like the birds take roles during the sun set. When our father is returning back home my mother will ask us to run away through the back door. We hardly saw the face of our father except few occasions when he bashed our mother.

Having grown In a home which is similar to Mahabharata war field where parents have perennial confrontations, even today I am not able to figure out how we have grown keeping our sanity. The science discovered a great fact that the psychological mental growth of a child depends on 'Love & peace' ambience right from the time the sperm is nucleated its journey in the womb which has become a prenatal counselling now. All rebels and freaks have grown for parents who have unfinished relationship where child saw only 'Confrontations' at home and parents had no time to show love to their children.

Strangely, these days most of the marriages are so called 'Love marriage'. In my view 'Love is unconditional'. If so why Mahabharata war for ever? Only one advice:

"If you have unfinished confrontations with your spouse or planning to divorce, please postpone your plan to have a child". But once the baby is in hand - stop this nonsense of fighting all the time grooming a 'Lousy human'.

With whole of my heart
NC

Parenting - Bullying

When I was in school one of my classmate 'Mari' always used to 'Harass' me and make me cry. He will trip my leg while running, kick me while playing foot ball and so on to get an idea. Going to school was a nightmare for me fearing my 'Bully'. This need not happen in school and in fact vast majority of parents 'Bully' their children in the name of 'Disciplining them'. Constant 'bullying' destroys the confidence of the child as it feels invalidatedevery time and feels 'I am no good'. This constant 'self talk' programs them as Inhibitive human beings. One of the reason an average Indian is 'Meek & passive' is due to this parental mistake.

On the contrary in the US if the parents even raise their voice, the child will call 911 and they will book them on 'Domestic violence' and put behind the bars. One of the reason the children growing as strong & independent' personality in the west is they never faced constant 'put down'.

Hence my dear parents:

1. Don't feel your power by being a dictator at home.

2. Don't be a 'Perfection freak' and expect your child to do everything perfect.

3. If your child is mischievous, don't shout at them. Instead keep the breakable item beyond his reach.

4. Your love towards the child is unquestionable. But it should reflect in your actions that prevents destroying his personality.

5. If your child refuses to go to school check out for a bully like my 'Mari' in school and take action.

Wish you happy parenting.

Whole of my heart 

NC

Fear of Death - A new Outlook

When we have born in this planet, we could not make few choices such as :

1. Whose family we want to be born? The King or beggar?

2. The colour of our skin.

3. Free from any deformities.

We were not certain about what will happen in our life as we pass by since the 'manufacturer' (Creator) has not provided the 'Manual of our life' for our reference. Alas! Even if He has given, life would have been hell as we will know every little details of our future. Nature has blanked out the 'past' life memory & 'unknown future' for our peace. Some of the spiritual aspirants go through 'Regression' to know their past life. I don't dare to do it because 'If I come to know that my neighbor has murdered me in the previous birth, it will become hell in this life !! Many times 'Ignorance is bliss'.

One thing is certain in life we have all born with a 'death warrant' as we are certain that we have to depart from this planet leaving all that we are attached to. While we have classified 'birth' as auspicious we declared 'death' as inauspicious. This is stupid to me as when beginning is good, end cannot be bad. Nature would not have kept anything which is unnecessary. Just because we don't know anything about creator's intention we cannot criticise it.

The snake dies in a graceful manner. The enlightened masters say snake is the most evolved species which knows when it has to depart from life gracefully. That is the reason it occupies the greatest position in Lord Shiva's neck. The snake also knows when it's days have come to end and it climbs the top of the tree and lies down in a branch without food. In this process it gradually dies. This is the way an enlightened masters dies in a lotus posture while all mundane human beings dies in a lying down posture.

We are so attached with all nonsense and want to cling here for ever till nature throws us out of this body. If we don't know 'Art of dying' we cannot learn the 'Art of living'. When we are realistic about the ephemeral aspect of life and the inevitable death, life becomes a celebration and you enjoy a Freedom.

Beware one thing: All that you possess does not belong to you as it can be used by you temporarily and not for ever.

Finally, as Lord Buddha said "Learn to die gracefully like a sun set". When the sun sets, it is beautiful and relaxed with a 'let go' attitude. Please don't wait for the 'Wake up call' for death and cultivate the habit of accepting death as a celebration the Almighty has planned. Learn to live like a 'Lotus' flower that has born in water, lives in water & dies in water but never makes any contact with the water.

Remind yourself that all that you possess is not yours except the divine essence that resides in you as that is the only truth. Daily cultivate a sense of surrender and thank God for all that is happening in your life either challenge or happiness.

Jai Gurudev.
NC

Parenting - 'Grooming an Idiot'

One of the greatest philosopher and scientist of this century Albert Einstein said "I fear the day that technology will surpass human interactions. The World will have generation of Idiots." I feel it has already happened right now !

Let's look at what way 'human interaction & creating idiots' have any correlation. In the era I was born and brought up we had no gadgets to interact with such as TV, PC, cell phone, IPad etc. Today the baby is born with a cell phone!! These are technologies made many companies to make huge money and transformed the way any human being thinks and reacts. Today virtually there is no interaction between human beings as we are always hooked on to these gadgets. Human interaction provides knowledge & wisdom where as gadgets give information.

For example I am sitting in a mall where I came for entertaining my grand children but busy in writing this post while they are enjoying ice cream.

Why Einstein says 'Technology creates a generation of stupid'. 

These media has given plenty of 'Information' and not 'Knowledge or wisdom'. For example if you want to know what is the latest Galaxy NASA has found and how far away it is, all that you have to do is 'Google' for ten minutes. Is this knowledge? No. It is 'Information' which any dumb idiot can get and talk intelligently in a party.

Today every parents wants to provide all these dumb gadgets to their child through which they know 'everything'. The parents feel they are wise as they think their child is learning. Alas! In fact it is like giving a knife to a child.

When everything is known & experienced too early in age, there is nothing to look forward to due to which 'boredom' sets in which is the starting point of 'Insanity'. 90% of children in US less than 8 years are believed to be bored & depressed.

It is predicted that this trend will lead to 50% of people in this planet will commit suicide in less than 100 years. When Japan has grown in wealth, the suicide of children increased phenomenally. When nothing new in life to be known, it leads to deep depression.

This is the reason nature kept many things in secret. For example sex which needs to be experienced only at certain age when the person is matured. If it is too early the novelty and curiosity is lost.

Hope this explains how we create 'Dumb' children through technology. If you really want your child to be wise like Einstein, please don't allow him to use all gadgets too early. Encourage interaction in family in which they learn. You know children grown in joint family with grand parents were centred in Values & principles which is the true wisdom. This can not be obtained in cell phones and video games.

With whole of my heart

NC