Sadhguru Wisdom

Sadhguru said "Pessimism or Optimism, both are attitudes; either way you are denying reality."

Let me try to interpret what Sadhguru says.

The reality referred by him here means the ultimate truth of divine - the God which is manifesting in all names and forms which is invisible to deluded people who can't recognize Him.

There are people who believe that there is no God who are called Atheists and those who believe are Theists. One may call theists as optimistic and atheist are pessimistic.

These are two different 'attitudes' which is a mind game. Sadhguru in a subtle way says, " Unless one goes beyond the mind and experience the divine through meditation you will waste time in arguing who is right."

One cannot experience God like tasting a banana as He is far beyond senses. your 5 senses cannot show Him as God is not a sense object. Hence mind & intellect has no power to comprehend Him as they are meant for using words to defeat the believer. The only way one can recognize God is by transcending mind & intellect through meditation. In essence "When ego disappears, there you find the all illuminating divine".

In summary don't waste your time in analysing God; but get onto deep inside your self to find Him.

Jai Gurudev
With Iove
NC

Parenting - Real & Unreal

A wise father shared several of his wisdoms with his grown up children closer to end of life. I wish to write my commentary on each of those pearls of wisdoms for your transformation. Here is the first one what the father said:

"Do not bear grudge towards those who are not good to you. No one has the responsibility of treating you well, except your mother and I. To those who are good to you, you have to treasure it and be thankful, and ALSO you have to be cautious, because, everyone has a motive for every move. When a person is good to you, it does not mean he really likes you. You have to be careful, don't hastily regard him as a real friend"

My commentary:

In the first part the father says, no one is obligated to be good to you even when they are, it means they want some favour from you as Vivekananda said, 'In this material World all are selfish except your parents'. 

In professional life people are extremely polite and friendly; is it genuine? Never as we have some motive in all our professional endeavours.

The only genuine relationship & love is what the parents extends to their children. If we can't distinguish real from unreal we are stupid.

In summary:

1. Parents love towards their loved ones is the only real and all else are fake.

2. Beware of all other relations which are fake and unreal as the other party wants something from you.

3. We generally believe fake is real and real as fake. Alas what a stupid beings we are?

4. When we receive a genuine love from someone we never value it. In the absence of love from parents we would have become insane.

5. We have no gratitude for what we received. Hence your children are waiting to abuse you as a result of your karma.

With whole of my heart
NC

Message to my mother

Dear Amma,

I don't know where you are now but I remember everyday about all the care and love you showered upon me till you lived with me.

Ever since I nucleated in your womb, I gave you pain in every form till you departed from your physical self to your divine abode. Is it the law of karma or dharma that every son kicks the mother ever since born?

In return for the pain I inflicted upon you, you always returned love and happiness as though that was your only agenda of your life. Was it like coconut tree that is fed with soap water but returns nectar.

As a father of two grown up children, now I know what is the role of a mother and why God created her as He could not be present every where in physical form.

My wife you found for me is now playing your role so well that sometimes I don't feel your absence. Did you know before that you will not be with me till I die and hence found a substitute for you?

I want to say thank you to you; but confused for what? It is not one or two favour you did to me but many. But for your care I would have died as a baby. When every DNA in my body is given by you for what I can say thanks to you? But I can seek a pardon from you for not returning even a wee bit of what you gave me.

I seek your pardon for the pains I gave you and not expressing my love as you did when you were in this planet. By the time I understood what is life you have gone in oblivion. If you still can feel myself, please recognize my love towards you.

I now know it is stupid to ignore someone when they were alive and regret after they have gone. My pain is due to the un lived life with you.

I love you Amma.
I miss you and see you soon.
Your son.

Parenting - Obedience

I was born and brought up in Tamil Nadu which has its own upbringing characteristics among which 'obedience' is one among them. I remember my parents saying, 'you should not make eye contact when you talk to elders!'. I was often told not to cross the legs when I sit in front of elders. These childhood conditioning virtually destroyed my ability even today to make 'eye contact & crossing leg' during my consulting visits.

You may argue that 'It is the speciality of Tamilian'. The statistics shows the vast majority of Tamilians are in service and hardly into to entrepreneur career. I would attribute this due to the lack of confidence due to childhood conditioning.

Let's look at what Thiruvalluvar said 1500 years ago: (Translation of the kural)

"If your child does not stand up for themselves, it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public"

He says, 'If you keep disciplining your child in the name of control in public, they will not be assertive'.

The meaning of the word 'assertiveness' is 'standing up for rights'. The opposite of assertiveness is 'Inhibitive' which means a timid behaviour of bottling up feelings without expression.

The western people are known for assertiveness and an average Indian is Inhibitive which is predominantly due to parenting. Why we need to be assertive? If one has to be successful in life he or she has to express their thoughts & feelings without the fear of rejection.

In summary:

1. Don't try to control your child 24 hours thinking it is stupid.

2. Allow your child to express its feelings and needs openly with you.

3. If your child don't open up to you it means you are putting it down all the time.

4. Never invalidate your child in public to look good in front of people who have no relevance.

5. Your child will behave like a child only and hence don't feel embarrassed in public.

6. Teach them good things but never discipline them.

Finally your child has born like a Lion and you don't grow him/her like a cat.

Jai Valluvar

With whole of my heart

NC

Parenting - Ambience at Home

We have seen many tips for developing our children in my previous posts which were assuming that parents are wiser and kids are stupid. I heard a radically a different view from Sadhguru as he is known for which is very appealing to me. Here goes his rationale:

The growth of the plant depends on the soil. Similarly personality of the child depends on the 'Home ambience'. If you want to teach peace, you have to create a peaceful ambience. If you wish to see a compassionate child, be compassionate with your family members. In essence, whatever quality you wish to emulate in your child be that yourself first.

Sadhguru says "You don't need to preach anything to your child but just walk the talk" .The child always wants to role model their parents. It will mirror you as it feels whatever you do is right. If you smoke or booze, forget about a non smoking teetotaler.

In summary, as parents let's not conclude we are smarter and intelligent than our offspring's as they have born in a new era with huge evolved mind. In fact we have to stop parenting stuffing our stupid outdated ideas and show a principle centric way of living which in itself be a big inspiration for them to role model.

According to Sadhguru parenting is looking into ourselves and figure out how we live and what way we can live better in front lof our children. If the father and mother fight like dog & cat, don't expect your child to be a peace lover. If the home is a blissful place, the child will be a Sadhguru one day.

From bottom of my heart

NC