I saw a recent movie "KAPOOR & Sons 1921" in which
Rishi Kapoor plays a key role as the nanogenerian. It is about a family
outwardly appearing to be very close, but each one of them betraying others
very cleverly; husband having an affair, one son is a gay and so on. The
grandfather alone proves to be a truthful & great guy full of joy although his
days are numbered.
The director has tried to convey a message that the family unit
is meant to respect others feelings but it is at cosmetic levels only as it
happens in modern times.
I born in a family of 14 children but today in the name of
nuclear family we have brought down to single child. If there is no siblings
the child starves for caring & love as both parents are working for meeting
both ends. During the distress that attacks the family, child has no one's
shoulder to cry! Parents feel they are getting everything to their child, but
they can't buy attention & love from market place.
Now Thirikural:
Thiruvalluvar says in one of his kurals:
"If your child does not respect other people’s feelings, it
is because instead of speaking to your child, you order and command them"
I had huge resistance from parents for my previous post as they
think they are doing everything right to their children and are unwilling to
accept the views of the great sage who poured wisdom 1500 years ago. All his
views are now confirmed by psychologists.
Listen carefully what Thiruvalluvar says, if parents don't have
a two way communication with their child it fails to learn the art of
respecting others feelings. Most of the parents feel their child cannot
understand and needs to be commanded. Alas! What a foolish judgement? Even a
newly born baby can feel the warmth of its mother.
Why child is more closer to mother than father? It is only
because she exchanges feelings and listens to her child than the father. That
is the reason it always speaks its needs through the mother when you are in a
good mood.
Remember:
1. Your child is not a robot but a Jeevan with feelings.
2. The feeling of 'feeling' happens only when the feelings are
respected.
3. Your child learns to respect feeling from parents only. If
you don't care for them, they will become a rebellion.
4. Stop chasing wealth and ignore your children as after all you
are earning for them only. You may gain wealth but by that time you may loose
them.
5. There are thousands of people who have no child and are
craving for it. But when you have it, please cherish them.
6. Don't stop with one child in the name of your comfort as
single child always suffers for 'feelings' which cannot be given by your
neighbour's child.
7. In summary: After all our children only give purpose to our
life; hence care for their feelings by listening to them.
8. Don't be an army major at home. Be a pleasant companion to
your child.
With whole of my heart
NC
