Parenting - Value other's feelings

I saw a recent movie "KAPOOR & Sons 1921" in which Rishi Kapoor plays a key role as the nanogenerian. It is about a family outwardly appearing to be very close, but each one of them betraying others very cleverly; husband having an affair, one son is a gay and so on. The grandfather alone proves to be a truthful & great guy full of joy although his days are numbered.

The director has tried to convey a message that the family unit is meant to respect others feelings but it is at cosmetic levels only as it happens in modern times.

I born in a family of 14 children but today in the name of nuclear family we have brought down to single child. If there is no siblings the child starves for caring & love as both parents are working for meeting both ends. During the distress that attacks the family, child has no one's shoulder to cry! Parents feel they are getting everything to their child, but they can't buy attention & love from market place.

Now Thirikural:

Thiruvalluvar says in one of his kurals:

"If your child does not respect other people’s feelings, it is because instead of speaking to your child, you order and command them"

I had huge resistance from parents for my previous post as they think they are doing everything right to their children and are unwilling to accept the views of the great sage who poured wisdom 1500 years ago. All his views are now confirmed by psychologists.

Listen carefully what Thiruvalluvar says, if parents don't have a two way communication with their child it fails to learn the art of respecting others feelings. Most of the parents feel their child cannot understand and needs to be commanded. Alas! What a foolish judgement? Even a newly born baby can feel the warmth of its mother.

Why child is more closer to mother than father? It is only because she exchanges feelings and listens to her child than the father. That is the reason it always speaks its needs through the mother when you are in a good mood.

Remember:

1. Your child is not a robot but a Jeevan with feelings.

2. The feeling of 'feeling' happens only when the feelings are respected.

3. Your child learns to respect feeling from parents only. If you don't care for them, they will become a rebellion.

4. Stop chasing wealth and ignore your children as after all you are earning for them only. You may gain wealth but by that time you may loose them.

5. There are thousands of people who have no child and are craving for it. But when you have it, please cherish them.

6. Don't stop with one child in the name of your comfort as single child always suffers for 'feelings' which cannot be given by your neighbour's child.

7. In summary: After all our children only give purpose to our life; hence care for their feelings by listening to them.

8. Don't be an army major at home. Be a pleasant companion to your child.

With whole of my heart

NC