Parenting - Freedom of Choice

Parents always wanted to make all choices for their children right from their birth till the parents disappear. I remember one of my bosses used to ask his father even for taking headache pills. Thank God he was not asking permission to go to toilet!! He was 45 years old when this was happening. Let's analyse why this behaviour?

When we were toddlers, parents have to decide when to start solid food for us and the whole lots of choices on our behalf. This decision making gives a sense of authority to the parents and bloats their ego.

The problem is when we grow, they have to let go of this authority, as the child has to learn to take decisions. But the parents feel the child is incapable of making choices.

Have you not experienced your wife concluding that you are incapable of buying anything? In transactional analysis this is called critical parent behaviour.

Now Valluvar's Thirukural:

"If your child takes things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don’t let them chose what they want".

This Kural is self-explanatory as Valluvar indirectly says that the parents are teaching wrong attitudes inadvertently.

Please remember:
1. You should realise your child is far more smarter than you. 
2. Stop dominating them for all decisions. 
3. Allow them to make their choices even when they are 3 years old. 
4. The child learns decision making if you let go, which is the most important leadership skills. 
5. Choice of dress, food, colour etc are personal and no choice is either good or bad. Let the child choose as per their likes. 
6. Guide your child to choose right life partner but don't dominate them. 
7. If You expect that your children will listen to you for ever and everything, you are in for a big disappointment. 
Live and let live your children with freedom.

With whole of my heart. 
NC