Dying Regret -4:

"I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends"

All of us have come across thousands of human beings during our brief sojourn called life right from primary school, college, profession and so on. All people we have met cannot be classified as 'Friends' but few of them got closer to us with whom we can pour all our feelings with trust. Rest of them are our 'intellectual companions' or 'business contacts' which has material value but less in emotional values.

Some of us are very warm and friendly with everyone we come across even if he is a lift operator or rickshaw driver. Some of us 'Cold & unfriendly' thinking we are great. When I see Late JP. Abdul Kalam interacting with younger generations I feel I should be like him in terms of 'tolerance, patience & warmth'. In any human interaction we have two options - 'putting people off' and another 'make them to remember you'. I feel touching the heart of people is the key for all human beings and it is a matter of attitude. Some people tell me 'If I get closer will loose control'. This is a wrong paradigm as we derive 'power' through people.

Recently I was recollecting all the people who came across in my life and touched my head or heart at some time in some context. Strangely many of them I cannot call them 'Friends' but they are close to my heart. The list was running over tens of thousands. I was trying to connect with them through the social media which is easier these days. I found most of them fondly recalled the good time we spent and were ready to connect again. 

Face book calls 'Friend' which is a great idea.

The Dying regret referred here is not about not getting in touch with the contacts who were lost in oblivion. Interestingly the childhood friends are close to our heart and as we grew older the friendship became more artificial and lags depth. Most of us lost our friends due to lack of initiative from our end to stay in touch with the media available today. More the media made it possible less we are becoming connected since connection is an 'Emotional process'.

May be a decade from now we may be alienated more than ever before due to materially focused lifestyle and insincerity in our relations. Please remember friends include our loved ones too. Although this regret does not mention about loved ones, it is important to take them into account. Just because we are living in the same home it does not mean we 'touch their heart'. Before it becomes too late let's take stock of this situation on our relationship with friends & loved ones and catch up.

Wish you a great life ahead with your loved ones & friends.

With whole of my heart
NC

Dying Regret - 1:"I wish had the courage to live a life true to myself , not the life others expected of me"

I wrote about the Dying regrets of terminally ill people few days back. Now I wish to write my commentary about each one of them; to start with the first one:This is the top 5 of the Dying regrets which means people are faking all their life to make others happy and not themselves. In childhood we eat food what our mother liked us to eat. At school & college we took the course what our parents missed in their life. After marriage we danced to most of the tunes of our spouse. In corporate life we did everything to keep our peers and boss happy. While dressing we chose a dress which the society will approve. Alas! Throughout our life there was nothing we did for satisfying ourselves.

There are three states we have choice to live:

1. Looking good 

2. Feeling good

3. Being good

• The looking good is a state in which we are always trying to look good in the eyes of the society. 
• In the feeling good state how we feel is more important than what others are thinking about us. 
• The being good is the highest state the prophets have reached in which all are divine in their vision. 

The dying regret dealt in this post is the result of living in 'Looking good' where we are not living for ourself but for the "Ghost" called society. Beware and learn to live to your ideals and what purpose you have come here for. If you have born as "Tendulkar" don't try to become "Latha Mangeshkar".

As Rajneesh once said "If you have born as Jasmine and try to become a rose, you will neither be a rose nor Jasmine". Be what you are and live life fully within the laws of nature and if you do your peace of mind is guaranteed.

With whole of my heart. 

NC

Dying Regret - 3 - Expressing Feelings

"I wish I had the courage to express my feelings"

'Expressing feelings' is the very characteristics of human life. Some of us are 'Open book' and few of us are 'Mystery' as no one knows what is going on in our bosom. Based on this aspect psychology classifies people as 'Introverted' & 'Extraverted' depending upon their focus towards their own thoughts or Worldly objects. Whatever we are we conclude saying "That is what we are made up of!!"

Any suppressed emotions boomerangs later as a monster in an unbridled manner is a well known fact; be it grief, anger or guilt. This is the reason when someone don't cry during bereavement are asked to cry out.

Very strange to find this aspect of expressing feeling is appearing as the third rank in the Dying Regrets. It is extremely important to address this to avoid regrets later. In the creation human beings are the only species who can talk using language. Although all other species communicate among themselves even without a language, they also communicate feelings through gestures. This is evident when a crow dies hundreds of them cry around it helplessly. The mother animal fondles young ones.

First of all we need to understand what is meant by 'Feelings'. Technically 'Feelings' are human emotions of 'Mind' stemming from many life situations. The regret expressed here is about 'suppression' of this feeling without expression. These emotions could be positive - love, compassion, happiness or negative - fear, hatred, guilt, anger etc. Why do we need to express these emotions?

Emotions are safety valve for human beings which neutralises the pressure that builds in our mind. The very reason family has been created is to drain our emotions with the family members. Some of us are very expressive letting our emotions but some of us are 'Cold' and inhibitive. Unless we develop the habit of "Feeling talk" with our loved ones and express our views in all human interactions we will have to negotiate this 'Dying Regret'. Hence from this moment develop the habit of expressing your feelings with loved ones as frequently as possible. To start with your spouse. Wish you a great sharing life ahead.

With whole of my heart

NC

Dying Regret - 2

"I wish had not worked so hard"

Please read the words carefully to pick up the true dying regret stated. The regret is not about 'Missing to work hard' but 'Having worked hard missing other aspect of life'.

Right from childhood we have been programmed to "Work hard" to get good marks, admission in good college, good degree, good job, work hard to get promotion and kill yourself to earn money.

In fact the small circle 'Me & my family' was ascribed by parents & society and 'Work hard' is the formula of life passed on to us for generations. Accepting these as the program we run our life missing moment by moment thinking one day I will be happy after amassing wealth.

IThe only thought fully occupied their mind is 'Earning money' for which they have to work hard. In Bombay the day starts at 3 am and ends at 3 am! We think that we are in this planet only to 'Work Hard' which is the cause and money is the effect.

Many Indians leave their family here and 'Work hard' elsewhere for that 'Tomorrow' when they have sufficient money to live happily. That 'Tomorrow' never arrives as such a one never exist. They missed the sweet toddlers, seeing them in the LKG class, holding their tender hands and answered their difficult questions like why earth is rotating?They never held their young wife's hand tightly and walked in the forest silently expressing their love.

One fine day, the nature announces the end of life around the corner which is the 'moment of truth' which demystifies the "Working Hard syndrome". As the old adage says "We chase wealth at the cost of health and loose wealth to regain it"

Working hard missing the very purpose of it is the folly human beings are trapped with. Please read the book "Last lecture" by Randy Paush or listen to this video in YouTube to get a perspective of why this dying regret has a meaning and what course correction we need to do to avoid it. 

With whole of my heart

NC

Vocabulary of Veda - Epics & Scriptures

Religion is found only in human species in creation as animals cannot embrace a religion. There is an unanswered question "Whether God created human? Or Human created God?" This question arises from the 'limited mind' which cannot reach certain domain beyond the concept of 'Creator & Created'.

Religion is standing on a flimsy foundation called "Belief" which is created by repeated conditioning. If I am taken to a temple when I was a small child and was told the deity is the God several time, it creates a belief system combined with several rituals leads to a religion. In summary 'Religion is just a belief'.

When the religion is just a bundle of 'Rituals' & 'Superstition' then it has no social value. That is the reason our Masters have created 'Epics' which are stories like Ramayana & Mahabharata through which certain values of peaceful living is subconsciously programmed.

When we hear Rama obeyed his father to relinquish his kingdom, we are programmed to respect parents. When the moral values are instilled in the mind the people social network becomes peaceful and aligned.

There are many aspects of religion taught by priest are not found in the scriptures!! What is scripture? It is the holy document supposed to have documented the sayings of the Prophet. In variably the prophet never authored the Holy book in his life time; but their disciples who heard his teachings have recorded it in the holy document.

Among few religions which does not have a prophet, Hinduism is one among them. Then what is the holy book of Hinduism? They are hundreds of them where experiences of the 'Seer' is recorded. They are called Upanishads. 'Upa' means 'Master'. 'Shad' means sitting below the master. These were taught by Masters to their disciples. Hence 'Upanishads'.

With whole of my heart 

NC

Vocabulary of Veda - Introduction

India is the land of Veda and the oldest civilization in the planet Earth. Hinduism is the name given to the people who lived near the 'Indus' river who never followed any religious dogmas. It is not right to say 'Hinduism' is a religion but a way of 'living' with certain values.

It may be the only religion which does not have a prophet as all religions are the follower of a prophets. Strangely there is no single documented 'scripture' in this religion as there are thousands of 'Pearls of wisdom' expressed by great enlightened people in the last 5000 years. We don't know who they are and why they did not 'Brand' themselves and marketed !!

Hinduism does not believe in 'Converts' as all are children of God and they have the rights to reach God within. The so called scriptures of India are none other than the inward experiences of the 'Seers' or 'Seekers' of God and who knows who they are. They were so humble to the extent of not mentioning their name in their wisdom. As there were no media 5000 years ago all the sayings of there 'Rishi's' were recited as a couplet or verses by their successors.

For example Mahabharata is the epic and account of a kingdom describes over 100 thousand verses. Can you imagine people passed on these voluminous & complex contents through memory and reciting!!

In this series I wish to present 'Nuggets of wisdom' from Veda what I learned from Great unknown Masters of this mighty subject of Veda. Pardon me if I am wrong in interpreting few waves in this ocean which can never be fathomed.

I named this subject as 'Vocabulary of Veda' as I wish to share some preliminary concepts to build this complex topic. My aim is to help readers to feel good by improving their quality of life using this 'Life Manual' called Veda.

Surrendering at the feet of my Masters

NC

Teen Ager Tantrum - ABC Syndrome

Parents have a hell of a time while negotiating the transition of their off-springs during their 'teen ages'. Some times it is a nightmare for them worrying that their child will become a freak. Rajneesh once said, "If your child suddenly says 'No' to your instruction, please check out their birthday and you will find that they are 'teen'. That is the 'Moment of truth' for the child and the parents knowing each other - 'Parents realize they don't have power on their children' and child recognizes that they can snatch the power from parents which they enjoyed since their birth". 

Psychology recognized a pattern in the teen agers and expressed as 'ABC syndrome'.

'A' - Antecedent (A paradigm developed by the teen agers over their childhood)

'B' - Behavior manifested when they reach teen age.

'C' - Consequence which is not known to the teen ager.

A - Antecedent means an attitude formed during childhood. Due to this attitude the teen ager wishes to rebel against the society at large. The paradigm comes from "I am ok and You are not ok" state.

B - Behavior - This attitude leads to a negative behavior (B) challenging everything in particular to parents. The teenager looks like a rebel in the society.

C - Consequence - Knowing the consequence human behavior is moderated, like we know if we injure someone we will be behind bars. The teen ager has no idea of his Consequences of his behavior and hence not bothered. When consequence is not known the behavior is unbridled. 

What do we do as Parents? Be tolerant to handle any teenagers if you have or learn to deal with them when you will have one in the near future. Soon I will write about the root causes of ABC and how parenting can minimize its effects.

With whole of my heart

NC

Dying Regret - Introduction

Bonnie Ware is a palliative nurse who comforts terminally ill people whose dates are numbered for their death which is less than 12 weeks. She gathered the regrets of these people and published a book titled as "Top 5 regrets of the Dying".

I want to take each of those regrets and offer my suggestions to my readers to avoid such regrets in your life.

When we have born nothing is certain except two facts. One is we will die one day. The second is as we are born alone, we will die alone. But "It will not happen for me syndrome makes us to think that we will live for ever" and live in absolute illusion messing up all opportunities and relationships.

When the D-day comes on which our balance days are numbered, suddenly everything assumes significance other than material wealth. Till then our only focus is on amassing wealth and indulgence in ephemeral physical gratifications. The person unwilling to give up smoking drops the cigarette instantly when he is diagnosed with lung cancer. When he has to choose between cigarette and life he chooses life. Alas! why wait for the D-day and why not all is well?

More to come in this topic. Till then, 

With whole of my heart

NC

A Thought on Marriage

Among many unknown customs or social arrangements 'Marriage' is one among them! We religiously go through these rituals without questioning and become a victim of what we learned from our predecessors.

In childhood toys kept us engaged, in adolescent education and middle age 'sex'! One interesting aspect of human sojourn is keep aspiring for something we don't have. At the age of 25 or so we are desperately in need of a companion more for physical gratification than anything else! In the name of 'Love' we camouflage this physical need. If this is not true why the relationship becomes sour after wedding?

The so called 'misunderstanding' after marriage is truly 'understanding' because that is the "moment of truth". If truth is 'Love' it cannot fade away after the 'honeymoon'. If the marriage is union of two souls then 'Honeymoon will never become a 'Full moon'!

In the west as the science advanced they have discovered many alternates for 'sex' which almost become an 'obsession'. When sex become the center of life we are doomed. The fact is whatever human beings would explore to find happiness through 'physical gratification' they will be disappointed as happiness is not there in that space. The end result is 'suicide' because one finds emptiness in this search. This explains why many celebrities committed suicide at the end.

The ultimate truth lies in 'Emptiness' which is found through 'silence' which can be achieved through turning inward and searching. If you want to travel to Delhi you have to take the relevant highway. If you travel towards Bangalore you will not reach Delhi. Hence choose what you want first and why you want before starting your journey.

The true purpose of Marriage is for creating 'Purpose for your living' through a unit called family. In that 'sex' is a 'Fringe benefit' and not the very purpose of it. Marriage is supposed to make you more grounded and responsible as you have few 'Jivans' to look after who are 'defenceless'. If you want to continue to be 'irresponsible' then never get married!!

With whole of my heart
NC

What is Satsang?

'Satsang' sounds like a little out of fashion word as it may mean different to different people of age group. It may also be concluded by few that it is 'Spirituality' in disguise which is hated by young people thinking it is meant for senior citizens.

SATSANG is a sanskrit word which means "A group of people joining together to share the truth". In the medieval time people will have to come together in a common place to share their thoughts. The word 'SANG means joining of people for a common cause. 

'SAT' means 'truth' which are facts of nature that run the universe like gravity in physical levels. There are 'principles' which run our life as cause & effect' like for example if you eat more than needed, you will have indigestion next day. Knowing these 'Principles' make a big difference in the texture of our life.

These days we have so many social media and smart phones which are hijacking us for non value added activities. I thought why not we use it for a productive purpose? Hence 'SATSANG' born out of this thought. It is an "Digital Satsang" in fact.

Whole of my heart

NC

ABCD for Success

Once I heard Swami Shukbodananda during his program about 'ABCD' for success. If you feel success in life is the result of luck or destiny please don't read further. 'A' stands for 'Attitude'-the lens through which you see the World which influences all your actions there after. Attitude is like the root of the tree. Attitude is nothing but our own preformed opinion about everything without even evaluating it in details. If my attitude for spirituality 'it is for old people' then I will ignore all other inputs. B-stands for belief which is the outcome of Attitude. Belief does not demand verification; for example 'Presence of God'. C -commitment is the willing ness to take actions and the evidence of it. This is the outcome of belief. D-Dedication is the consistency of actions which is the result of Commitment. Many time one time action may not produce any result and you may have to sustain your efforts. Hence ABCD is a series of cause & effect functioning together finally bearing the fruits of our life. If you have not made much progress materially or spiritually then check out your attitude which may be wrong. 

With all my Herat
NC

Content & Context for Peaceful life

In one of the interviews Jaggy was asked "How do I manage stress?" He was puzzled to know why human beings have to 'manage' something which is of no value to them? I could understand we have to manage our business, family, properties etc which has a return on investment of efforts but why manage 'Stress'?.

When I was young I never heard of this word 'Stress' except during my mechanical engineering course where my professor taught me about the stress in the Applied Mechanics class. He said "Whenever a material offers a resistance to a force it develops a stress". Taking cue from mechanical stress 'Only when we offer resistance for life events it results in stress'. For example if I push my hand into the water, it does not develop a stress as water never offers resistance but still it is the most powerful entity of creation. Jaggy explains why the modern man is always stressed like a taught rubber band and how he can re-educate himself for attaining freedom from the killer stress!

Jaggy defines 'CONTENT' as what is presented to us in life upon which we have no control; for example 'traffic jam' or 'nagging wife'. The 'CONTEXT' is what our interpretations are upon which we have control. I cannot do anything about the CONTENT in this case is traffic jam. But I can alter my 'CONTEXT' - how I use that time to listen to a music or a discourse without fuming & fretting. The real reason for stress is not the 'CONTENT' but our 'CONTEXT'. By this simple explanation we can train our mind to maintain 'Cool' under all circumstances.

Why so many rich people in the US have to take sleeping pills to sleep? We have been sleeping in the mother's womb ever since we have nucleated? One cannot forget to eat or sleep because anything not learned cannot be forgotten. STRANGE!! Over the years we have screwed up our life with our CONTEXT applied wrongly on every life situation. Animals don't have stress as they have no CONTEXT - interpretation of all events of their life.

Don't miss each precious moments of life in STRSSS which is the choice you have made through your CONTEXT!! Stop worrying & start Living!

With whole my heart.

NC

Importance of Interpersonal relationship (IPR)

One of the areas we have not been trained and hence lack skills is 'Interpersonal relationship behavior. Our success in life largely depends on our ability to get along with people both in family as well as professional career. We live our life without this vital skill like driving a car without steering. 

Many problems of our life is due to this aspect be it broken marriages, poor career progression and so on. It is very strange that we have let loose in the society without this vital skill. I wish to deal with this topic in the next few posts. 

With whole of my heart NC

Interpersonal Relationship - Tips:2

FIRO-B stands for Fundamental Interpersonal Relationship Orientation-Behaviour, a research based model which gives guidelines for improving our skills in this area. 

Before we deep dive into this theory, let's figure out why IPR is vital for sanity. We find in nature animals of same species live together. We are also not an exception and call ourselves as social animals. Psychology reveals we derive our identity only because of other human beings around us. This means for me to know who I am I have to be constantly reminded by others.

It is frightening to know if we are left in an island where no one is there we will become insane in less than 60 days. You must have seen the movie "Cast Away" which revels this fact.

Alas! We abuse the people around who are helping us to maintain our sanity. 

More to follow.....

With whole of my heart
NC

Interpersonal Relationship - Tips:3

I know few top ranking senior executives in corporate life got stuck at some position and could not become a CEO in spite of their technical competence. The main reason was purely due to their inability to get along with people. At some point in time in our life no one can give feedback to us about our nasty behavior. They always justified that they are right and all other needs to change themselves to get along with them.When some one is in this state they become incorrigible and reach a dead end in their life. 

There is a famous quote from Lauren Vander Post which reads as:

“ Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right.”

The only redemption in life for those who have poor IPR is to take the FIRO-B very seriously and implement in a war footing. FIRO-B model advocates 3 aspects to improve our IPR. The first one is "INCLUSION" which means we accept the person whole heartedly if we are keen to improve our relationship. The main reason for "Mother-in-law, Daughter-in-law problem is stemming form the basic reason both have not accepted the other human being part of their life. This is the meaning of the word "Inclusion". In the Western World the whites have not INCLUDED those who are with brown or black skin. NO INCLUSION, NO RELATION.

With whole of my heart

NC

Attitude makes the difference

All great souls lived less than an average human beings. Sankara 32, Jesus 39, Ramakrishna Paramahansa 52, Vivekananda 39 and so in. Their accomplishments are unbelievable leaving a trace for thousands of years.

Hence it is not important 'how long we live; but how we live makes the difference'. Few difference between great souls and common man is:

@ Common man grumbles all the time, great souls celebrate every moment. 

@ Common lives only in the past and worries unknown future, great souls lives in the 'present' moment. 

@ Common man thinks that the world is created for his indulgence, great souls think he is created to make the world a better place. 

@ Common man dies without a trace and great souls live for ever. 

Whole of my heart
NC

Life - A new perspective

Life is an equal opportunity given to all human beings which 'happened' without our choice. There is a saying "You can't choose your father & boss" as they are decided without our consent. Having come to this state called "Life" we can exercise few options- one to drag the life till it is snatched from us or the other to 'Make a difference'. 

This 'Fleeting experiences' called life is a collection of mundane indulgence for many at the body consciousness level and die one day like a street dog un-noticed. But for few like Jesus or Sankara it is a major opportunity to redirect the mankind. It is all how we look at it. 

Whole of my heart
NC

A Thought on Health

One of the perennial concerns of modern human race is about 'Health'. In the US all TV adds are exploiting this human weaknesses. Few thoughts on this monster which robs our peace:

@ Among the total number of days we are alive the ratio of sickness is less than 0.00001% which implies by default the natures plan is to keep us healthy. 

@ Animals are generally very healthy as compared to human without hyper tension & Diabetics which may be due to their adherence to natures plan in diet and rest. There is no hospital and healthcare in their kingdom. But human have violated all laws of nature.

@ Health is a function of 'what goes inside our mouth & what thoughts entertained in our mind'. Animal eats what's called conducive diet which nature decided for them; you can't convert a cow into a carnivore how ever much you try. You can't make a dog to eat a gram more than its hunger.

@ Where as we eat like pig sometimes more for mind than for body. If we are depressed we eat more than normal. Richard Carlson, the great stress consultant says 

"When you have a tendency to over eat tell yourself 'Eat pig eat, you will pay the price tonight!" I follow his advice and it works. Please try yourself. 

Whole of my heart
NC

Wants & Needs

My friends Kapil & Bharat are responsible for me to write on this topic. 'Want' and 'Need' are not one and the same. We as human beings are derived from the 5 entities called 'Pancha Budas' Earth, Water, Air, Heat & Space. 

Food comes from Earth which is the grossest of the five elements. Veda calls anything which can be seen with 5 sense is the grossest. Water has no smell of its own hence one sense cannot recognise it. Space is the most subtlest of all which none of the senses can recognise it. Moving from air to heat you will find one senses looses its ability to cognise it. Air cannot be seen, smelled and tasted. Subtler ones are more vital than the grosser ones!

We 'need' food and water to keep ourselves alive which is the very plan of creator. Although our body has 65% water if it comes down below 60 it is dehydration. We can survive for 90 days without food, few days without water and only few minutes without air. These are the 'needs'. All else we are striving for in life are 'Wants' which leads to Greed, jealousy, hatredness, anger and all negative emotions.

Beware of the difference between 'needs' and 'wants' and be prudent or else you will be in deep trouble. 

Whole of my heart
NC

Negating the Present

The concept of time is only applicable for mankind among all species which created the concept of 'tense' past, present & future. This in turn created the concept of 'Worry' of dead past or unborn future. In animal kingdom the concept of time is not present and hence no worry and hence no BP and diabetics.

When we were young we always wanted to grow older and when we became old we wanted to be younger! One thing in common in all our thinking is 'We want something which we don't have at present'.

We feel that what we don't have is going to make us happy. But when we have, we want something else! This syndrome makes us to 'Miss the present moment all the time' postponing our happiness for some other day; that day never arrives.

Please remember:

@ Past & future is an illusion which deludes you for postponing your happiness.

@ Material possessions have limited shelf life and can't make you happy for ever. Don't link your happiness with material as there is no cause and effect relationship between them.

@ Present moment is the only reality and live this moment fully as this is all you have.

@ The imagined future will also present to you as 'Present' and if you have the habit of missing the present, you are sure to miss that future as well. 

With whole of my heart
NC

Beware of Mundane & Extraordinary

The author of the book "Rich dad & poor dad" has written that vast majority of us think getting educated, getting a job, marrying, buying a property and paying the bills is all life is about. These mundane things we saw our parents doing and all other "Jonnies" doing and we concluded we will also do.

Getting up in the morning, brushing teeth, drinking tea and like a robot going through the day is what all the human beings do. Don't you get bored of this repetition which we call it as life? Non-sense is it in deed? A quick analysis will reveal this may not be the purpose the creator would have created us. If so He could have stopped with animals.

My dear friend: You are here for something extraordinary because 'mundane' is even the cow is doing!

Whole of my heart
NC

Thoughts on Boredom

Human beings discovered a peculiar concept called 'Boredom'! If you don't have anything to do you are bored; if you have to do the same thing for repetitively then you get bored!

If repetitive activity leads to boredom you should get bored of brushing your teeth or drinking tea and many we are doing repetitively. In this universe everything is happening in a cycle- sun goes and comes back, planets orbit the sun cyclically, we ate breakfast yesterday and today as well!

The creator's plan is repetition and nothing is linear including reincarnation whether you believe it or not. Nothing waits for your belief to exist or validated; gravity exists irrespective of your belief. Don't try jumping from high floors to disprove gravity!

Lack of activity or repetitive activity does not lead to boredom but the attitude with which you undertake a work or mission makes you bored. Mahatma or Isaac Newton or Sankara was never bored as they were so engrossed in their purpose and they saw divine in every act.

When you have no purpose or goal in any act of life whether it is professional career or in personal you are bound to be bored. Remember the two stone cutters one cutting stone for 'Stomach' and other for building a cathedral. The act remaining the same the attitude makes the difference.

Please never go through the motion in life; find a purpose first then you will never get bored. 

With whole of my heart & dedication to my Guru
NC

Comfort & Happiness

The mankind is confused with 'Comfort' & 'Happiness'. Scientific discoveries and inventions brought so many gadgets that made human life more comfortable. On the other hand comfort robbed our physical activities which are vital for us to be healthy.

Human beings are deluded thinking 'if we are comfortable we will be happy'. Unfortunately there is no cause & effect relationship between Comfort & happiness. Sleeping in a water bed is comfortable but does not guarantee happiness. One may lie down in the water bed and may be "Comfortably Unhappy".

Don't chase wealth for comfort thinking you will be happy if you are comfortable. There are rich people travel comfortably in Mercedes S -class with a miserable state of mind! Happiness is a state of mind which has nothing to do with comfort.

Hope you must have seen people sleeping below the bridge very deeply as compared to us sleeping in soft bed in an air conditioned room miserable waking up every one hour. 

With whole of my heart
NC

Veda - A new insight

True spirituality is the "Manual of Life". When we buy any gadget we are supplied with a 'User manual' which tells us how to use the product. But we as an equipment born in this universe did not get 'User manual' supplied by the creator God.

May be due to that reason we don't know how to live and screw up our life like driving a motor car without a steering😂

Vedic scriptures are our 'User manual' which tells us who we are, what purpose we are here and where we will go 😇. We think we have born only to indulge eating Gulobjamun till we become diabetic and drink tea without sugar rest of life.

Alas! Deluded Atma! Please wake up. You are divine in human form and knowing God is the only purpose you have become human. 

💐With Whole of my heart.
NC💐

Principle & Value - The Key for success

Often we get mixed up with Values and Principles. Among many misconceptions this is one among them. I chose to clarify this here before I can add any further posts on Interpersonal Relationships. There is a tamil adage which may be common in other language also says "A pot with less water will always spill over but the full one will not". The analogy of water here refers to wisdom which is a function of experience. Anything known through books or google is only an information till it is experienced personally it does not become wisdom. When you rebel to new ideas that challenges your, there is an opportunity for evolving. "There are many grown OLD, but few only GROWN"

'Value' is what we give importance to - it could be material or intangible. It may be your 'Family' or 'Money' or even your pen! Value drives your behavior and hence your destiny. If your value is for money you will sacrifice everything else for the sake of making money. In other words Value is derived from your 'Attachment' on ephemeral objects.

"Principle" is the 'Law of nature' that governs this universe. You may value principles instead of fleeting objects. For example 'Love', 'Compassion', 'Treating everyone the same way you want to be treated' and so. Benjamin Franklin, the well known Polymath (The human being who mastered several aspects of life) kept 11 principle as his values.

The difference between mundane human beings of indulgence and the great souls like Benjamin Franklin is only the core Values (Principles or self-centered objects). Principe centered leaders like Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma are the ones whose "Principles' ran their life. That is why we remember them and not our grand fathers !! I shall write about Benjamin's principles later.

Please don't justify broken marriages as good like leaving the job and joining else where. Economic independence cannot be an excuse for adultery. I read some where 30% of married people in metros like Bombay are having extra marital affairs. When you pretend that you are still loving your wife then you are hypocrite. Then you can never be a model to your children. When you break your conscience and insincere you can never be a great leader in any corporate life where "Integrity' is the foundation. Remember when we want chastity from our wife; we cannot have license to freak out. Instead Polygamy is better than adultery.

With whole of my heart

NC

Interpersonal Relationship Behavior

One of the areas we have not been trained and hence lack skills is 'Interpersonal relationship behaviour'. Our success in life largely depends on our ability to get along with people both in family as well as professional career. We live our life without this vital skill like driving a car without steering. 

Many problems of our life is due to this aspect be it broken marriages, poor career progression and so on. It is very strange that we have let loose in the society without this vital skill. I wish to deal with this topic in the next few posts.

With whole of my heart NC

Stress Management - CONTENT & CONTEXT

In one of the interviews Jaggy was asked "How do I manage stress?" He was puzzled to know why human beings have to 'manage' something which is of no value to them? I could understand we have to manage our business, family, properties etc which has a return on investment of efforts but why manage 'Stress'?.

When I was young I never heard of this word 'Stress' except during my mechanical engineering course where my professor taught me about the stress in the Applied Mechanics class. He said "Whenever a material offers a resistance to a force it develops a stress". Taking cue from mechanical stress 'Only when we offer resistance for life events it results in stress'. For example if I push my hand into the water, it does not develop a stress as water never offers resistance but still it is the most powerful entity of creation. Jaggy explains why the modern man is always stressed like a taught rubber band and how he can re-educate himself for attaining freedom from the killer stress!

Jaggy defines 'CONTENT' as what is presented to us in life upon which we have no control; for example 'traffic jam' or 'nagging wife'. The 'CONTEXT' is what our interpretations are upon which we have control. I cannot do anything about the CONTENT in this case is traffic jam. But I can alter my 'CONTEXT' - how I use that time to listen to a music or a discourse without fuming & fretting. The real reason for stress is not the 'CONTENT' but our 'CONTEXT'. By this simple explanation we can train our mind to maintain 'Cool' under all circumstances.

Why so many rich people in the US have to take sleeping pills to sleep? We have been sleeping in the mother's womb ever since we have nucleated? One cannot forget to eat or sleep because anything not learned cannot be forgotten. STRANGE!! Over the years we have screwed up our life with our CONTEXT applied wrongly on every life situation. Animals don't have stress as they have no CONTEXT - interpretation of all events of their life.

Don't miss each precious moments of life in STRSSS which is the choice you have made through your CONTEXT!! Stop worrying & start Living!

With whole my heart.

NC

Interpersonal Relationship - Tips:1

Inter personal relationship (IPR) is the foundation of our peace & growth because we get the good will and cooperation of people through IPR. If you are lacking this skill you reach your level of incompetency although you are technically sound because people don't want to work with you.

Many research work has been done to provide a cook book approach for developing this skill. One of those research is FIRO-B (Fundamental Interpersonal Relationship Orientation Behaviour).

Before I explain this model, one aspect of our attitude towards relationship needs to be dealt. Most of us feel that when we have a relationship issue with anyone we justify that it is because of the other person's behaviour. FIRO-B is not for those who blame the whole world for their relationship mess up as it is an 'Inside-out' approach and not 'Outside-in' approach where we are willing to alter our paradigms and Context.

I am of the view that the World out there is a 'Mirror' and reflects who we are. It will show my ugliness without any prejudice. If you don't accept this view please don't read this topic any further. If you have read this far it means that you are in the path of 'Self-development'. Please look for more posts on this topic. 

With whole of my heart

NC

Stress Management - Content & Context

In one of the interviews Jaggy was asked "How do I manage stress?" He was puzzled to know why human beings have to 'manage' something which is of no value to them? I could understand we have to manage our business, family, properties etc which has a return on investment of efforts but why manage 'Stress'?.

When I was young I never heard of this word 'Stress' except during my mechanical engineering course where my professor taught me about the stress in the Applied Mechanics class. He said "Whenever a material offers a resistance to a force it develops a stress". Taking cue from mechanical stress 'Only when we offer resistance it life events it results in stress'. For example if I push my hand into the water, it does not develop a stress as water never offers resistance but still the most powerful entity on creation.

Jaggy defines 'CONTENT' as what is presented to us in life; for example 'traffic jam' or 'nagging wife'. The 'CONTEXT' is what our interpretations are. I cannot do anything about the CONTENT in this case is traffic jam. But I can alter my 'CONTEXT' - how I use that time to listen to a music or a discourse without fuming & fretting. The real reason for stress is not the 'CONTENT' but our 'CONTEXT'.

Why so many rich people in the US have to take sleeping pills to sleep? We have been sleeping in the mother's womb ever since we have nucleated? One cannot forget to eat or sleep. STRANGE!! We have screwed up our life with our CONTEXT when the content has no power on us but our CONTEXT has which is in our control. Animals don't have stress as they have no CONTEXT.

Don't miss each precious moments of life in STRSSS which is the choice you have made!!

With whole my heart.

NC