After reading my first episode of Kindle Life, one of the readers of my blog asked me when I am going to give the tips and tricks for personality development. I am of the view that there cannot be a "Cook Book" approach for personality development. It is a transformation of a being and not a technique to impress others as Steven Coovy puts it in his book "7 Habits of highly effective people". He calls it "Character ethics & personality ethics. I believe in "Character ethics" which is long lasting and real. In early 50's many books have been written on personality ethics advocating to "smile and call people by names etc" which lead to plastic smile and manipulation of other human beings. They all helped in "Looking Good" and hardly did anything to "Being Good".
I request my readers to be patient as I am suggesting a principle centered approach for personality development which will change the core of our being not intended to teach you any table manners kind of approach which is a cosmetic change and short lived. If others know that we are manipulating them, we have lost them once and for all. This is the folly many service industries are making today by suggesting their employees to smile and call their customers by name etc. This is not customer focus; it is manipulation and not genuine.
Theory of Science:
Before we proceed with the formula for developing our personality, I wish to present few aspects which we need to agree as building blocks. In any endeavour there is a theory or philosophy behind whether it is science or religion. We call it a theory in science and philosophy in religion. In this episode I wish to present the “Theory of personality development”. Let me explain what I am referring to.
Newton proposed the theory of motion with his 3 laws of motion for which he had no proof when he announced it. For example the first law was “Every physical body will continue to be in a state of rest or motion unless it is acted upon by an external force”. Newton could not prove this theory as there was no satellite to show that in a state of zero gravity the object will perennially keep moving without any prime mover! It was a theory when Newton proposed and was proved later.
Similarly, Galileo said the earth is a globe and is moving round the sun as people at that time believed that the sun is moving around the earth which is flat! People were afraid that if they keep walking, they will reach the edge of the earth and may fall down in the abyss. Galileo was poked in his eyes as he was thinking ahead and telling the truth when vast majority of people were ignorant. The two scientific examples explain the theory upon which people build satellites when they believed it and the whole mankind is reaping its material benefits.
Philosophy of Religion:
From the philosophy, Adi Sankara postulated the theory of “Advaida” – non duality; which states that “You and God are one and the same and as you are ignorant you cannot realize it”. Those who believed this theory were enlightened and attained godhood and those did not believe remains ignorant and suffering in life.
The point I am making is everything starts with a Theory or philosophy as satellite communication from Newton’s law and enlightenment from advaida. If we don’t believe the theory or philosophy it does not work for us and when we believe it works – very paradoxical but that is the way it is.
THEORY OF KINDLE LIFE:
Having explained what is theory and philosophy; let me present the “Philosophy of Personality Development”. In this series Kindle Life we have commenced our journey to explore our capability to exploit the human potential to attain material and spiritual gains in life. I am of the view that there is no conflict between material and spiritual attainments as both require the same progress in our stature which is nothing other than “Behaviour”. After all the difference between two human beings is none other than the behaviour in a given circumstances. Before we proceed further with a cook book approach to personality development, we need to agree on fundamental belief that:
- We wish to change for the better.
- We can change if we choose to.
- We are the creator of our own destiny
If any one of us coming from a paradigm that all circumstances in which I am today is the result of all external factors other than me, Kindle Life is not their cup of tea!! When we come with a paradigm that others should change for our life to become better, it is a good recipe for “not doing anything in life”. For changing one’s life course, it is very important to believe that all the mess in our life was created by us! It is hard, but that is what the foundation of change management at individual life is all about. Many of us feel that our parents “should have” done better things for us – sending us to a better school etc. The only role expected from our parents is “ensuring that we are alive till we were on our feet!” All creations can look after it just the moment it has born except human being – the fish can swim; a calf can run and so on. We would have died if the parents would not have looked after us when we were a baby! Let us not expect anything else from them and be thankful to them.
Before we proceed further, we need to agree on few fundamentals which I will be using throughout Kindle Life. I call them “Basic Assumptions”. Here they are:
1. My stature is the active ingredient for the progress I will make in my career & personal life.
2. We are the creator of our own destiny
3. We can change if we really wish to.
4. Training my mind is like developing my biceps in a gym. If I can train my biceps, I can train my mind as well.
- My personality decides whether I am needed for greater responsibility & hence positions in my career.
- I wish to change for the better
- I can change – as I can develop my biceps, I can develop my personality
- I am the creator of my own destiny; I don’t blame my parents for anything as they did what they were supposed to – keeping me alive when I needed them the most.
- Only human beings can alter their destiny as it is the plan of the creator to gift you with that ability.
- I am responsible for all the mess I have created and no one else.
- Let me take charge and choose to travel on a path less travelled.
Kindle Life will continue.