Thiruvalluvar 5000 years ago wrote 1330 couplets about life codes which is a manual of life even today. According to him we are the sculptures of our child. About our children's self esteem he wrote:
"If your child had poor self-esteem, it is because you advice them more than you encourage them"
Self esteem is the core of anyone's behaviour which means how much we respect and value ourselves as a human being. It dramatically varies from person to person. It is the result of how we were treated during childhood.
Whenever we attempted to do something how our parents responded decides our self worth. If we have faced frequent 'put downs', we tend condition ourselves as a worth less person. Thiruvalluvar puts mildly saying frequent advice which he really means 'put downs'.
Even at this age I suffer this syndrome of feeling worthless in front of any top management guys I meet. This subconscious program runs on its own under a given circumstances ruining your opportunity to prove your worth.
Children grown in south India are more Inhibitive than the ones grown in North! Why? It is not lack of exposure but the parental treatment of their child. We control our children 'minute to minute' in South where as they enjoy much more freedom for self expression in North.
1. Parents are no wiser than their children. Be humble.
2. You don't need to monitor and control your child every minute which is like putting the seed in the earth and dig and see every day! It will never grow.
3. Be a coach and facilitator to your child than a 'Ring master'
4. If your children are not sharing their feelings with you that means you are a tyrant in their life.
5. Your put downs leads to low self esteem which programs the sub conscious of your child feeling 'I am not good & worthless human being'. This ruins their personality for ever.
6. Talk to your child very often and figure out the level of their self esteem.
7. Appreciate every little things your child does which build their self esteem.
Be a Mentor of your child
Love you all
With whole of my heart